well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You smell like a Billy Joel song
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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