So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
