census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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