some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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