That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
