is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
