OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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