bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
