I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Randomize
