hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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