i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
