no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
