WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I did not marry a roomba.
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