who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
