I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
