I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
