The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
