I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
