No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
