is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
