I am midnight drunk by noon
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
