I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
