im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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