I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
