I must be too annoying 4 u.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
