He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
