Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
and you fell through a lawn chair
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
