words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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