I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
