I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
