and you said cock pushups were impossible
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
