The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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