I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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