Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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