I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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