I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
