Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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