I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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