I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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