hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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