My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
