Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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