just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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