8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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