Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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