great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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