escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
