i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
