he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
