I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
50% drunk capacity currently
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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